Playing favorites

Ever wonder who gave certain people the right to play favorites, what is beauty, who is beauty, why the same thought and statement from 1 person is funny, brilliant, just honest, okay and accepted and by another person rude, dumb, jealous, insensitive and just wrong? 
I’ll give you a personal experience. My brother is the favorite with the whole family. The world around me especially growing up always said that he was charming and handsome; his sarcasm, funny. Work ethics is brilliant which I don’t know how since he has never job hunted in his life, and has always been given a job just so that he wouldn’t continue sleeping the day away. His honesty is laughable; it always amazed me to see how the world wanted to believe him. How he was: was okay, accepted and somehow admired. 
Now the flip side,  the opposite…ME Starting with rude. I  was always sensitive to smell and other people’s gross essence and even more so now that I have gotten older. But in my defense 95% of our family members were and are heavy smokers and or anti- deodorant. My grades were never enough. I could get A’s and B’s or just all A’s, but that one C or D was their focus. I had to study more, try harder, be like my God sister, my cousin. As I got older I learned the truth about them: their parents inflated their grades a bit and my parents made me look less than. My very favorite and to this day is my jealous: my so called jealousy of my brother. My mom started it and many followed telling me, promoting that, convincing everyone around including themselves that I was jealous of his looks, charm and popularity. What a joke. While I was in school I personally couldn’t be bothered with people and even less with the opposite sex. I wasn’t short on being chased or admired. It’s interesting how people mistake the distinction between insensitive and being honest, because you actually care more than most people. So a cousin got a blazer from another cousin for her birthday. It was a very loud looking blazer, a special confident very few people would be able to pull it off loud. The cousin that received the gift was less than thrilled about the gift. And the cousin gifting the gift was trying really hard to convince her and herself that it was fashion forward. Then I was asked for my opinion. I don’t understand why my family in these situations look to me for an opinion, when they know damn well they aren’t ready to hear or process what they know to be true. So they reflect their stupidity, call me the B word, and say that I’m insensitive. When that uncalled for name calling comes out  I like to show them what a real insensitive B would say. I  told her that she was either re-gifting this blazer or got it on sale for $5. 
No matter how much people try to paint me one way to boost and help lift their favorite, my brother or themselves I continue to paint myself like a rainbow with a ray of light shining through. I am able to do this because the world is so big with all walks of life that I refuse to associate myself with people that think that I am less than them. I knew this as a child and into my teens but then society changes you and if you don’t have one person in your corner and you loose yourself. Then I got ill. Getting ill in a weird twist way, has saved me and I found myself again.  Found my voice, my light, you, this group, all the wonderful, beautiful people that help each other from around the world with no judgment. It doesn’t get better than this. You guys give me strength, encouragement, support, power. Even on my worst ugly day’s, because when I feel less than and drop my brush, you guys are sure to pick it up and continue colouring for me until I can paint again. 
Thank you 
Daniela Laurencio